Marvel Disney
Aug. 31st, 2009 10:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danalwynSo, when Disney is buying Marvel, can I suggest some new titles that the combined company can roll out?
Disney Zombies: Exactly what it says on the tin.
Toon-Men: In a world of conformity, the strange breed of mutants known as toons are hated and feared by the rest of mankind. Now a new academy, under the leadership of strangely high-pitched Professor Mickey is aiming to train these young toons to use their slapstick powers to help the rest of mankind and overcome prejudice. The story follows three young toons, brothers Huey, Duey, and Louie, as they enter Professor M's academy and end up coming face to face with the malevolent rogue toons of QUACK, whose ability to survive even the most devastating explosion while only being marginally singed has turned them into incredibly dangerous suicide bombers.
The Little Spider: Watch this gender-inverted version of the Little Mermaid take off as young Peter Parker, a street-swinging crime fighter, tries to break into the world of high society to woo princess Mary Jane Watson. Dance numbers, song scenes, and talking animals will undoubtedly soar around the main characters until their relationship is dissolved by editorial fiat.
Chip and Dale's Runaway Rangers: Clearly this idea is either too crack-addled or too awesome to be put into words.
House of Mouse presents Nextwave: I have no idea what the hell we were smoking when we wrote this, but we're going to need more of it. Lots more.
Shadow of the Duck: In the long honored tradition of one comic-book company ripping off another, the forces of organized crime are now living in terror of the grim avenger of the night, Darkwing Duck. This driven, relentless and brutally violent Miller-esque re-imagining of the classic character will constantly brood on the evils of his day, while venting his murderous spleen on the henchmen of the underworld, before finally being finished off by a copyright infringement lawsuit from DC.
America King: This story covers the travails of Captain America as, believing himself to be responsible for the death of President Roosevelt, he flees into the wilderness, abandoning the title of Captain America to rival Bucky Barnes. Now, with the help of the wise-cracking Tony Stark, the gluttonous barbarian Thor, and childhood friend and lost love Sharon Carter he has to go win back his title with a full-fledged battle in the heart of Washington DC!
The Duck: This series stars conflicted, tormented scientist Bruce Banner, who, due to a carelessly tested science experiment hides a terrible secret. When he gets angry, he turns into Donald Duck!. Hilarity ensues. Oh, you know it will. Don't look at us like that. Buy our comics! Please?
(Apologies to any offended comic fans. No, wait, on second thought, no apologies. Never apologize. Retcon it out of existence, but never apologize.).
Disney Zombies: Exactly what it says on the tin.
Toon-Men: In a world of conformity, the strange breed of mutants known as toons are hated and feared by the rest of mankind. Now a new academy, under the leadership of strangely high-pitched Professor Mickey is aiming to train these young toons to use their slapstick powers to help the rest of mankind and overcome prejudice. The story follows three young toons, brothers Huey, Duey, and Louie, as they enter Professor M's academy and end up coming face to face with the malevolent rogue toons of QUACK, whose ability to survive even the most devastating explosion while only being marginally singed has turned them into incredibly dangerous suicide bombers.
The Little Spider: Watch this gender-inverted version of the Little Mermaid take off as young Peter Parker, a street-swinging crime fighter, tries to break into the world of high society to woo princess Mary Jane Watson. Dance numbers, song scenes, and talking animals will undoubtedly soar around the main characters until their relationship is dissolved by editorial fiat.
Chip and Dale's Runaway Rangers: Clearly this idea is either too crack-addled or too awesome to be put into words.
House of Mouse presents Nextwave: I have no idea what the hell we were smoking when we wrote this, but we're going to need more of it. Lots more.
Shadow of the Duck: In the long honored tradition of one comic-book company ripping off another, the forces of organized crime are now living in terror of the grim avenger of the night, Darkwing Duck. This driven, relentless and brutally violent Miller-esque re-imagining of the classic character will constantly brood on the evils of his day, while venting his murderous spleen on the henchmen of the underworld, before finally being finished off by a copyright infringement lawsuit from DC.
America King: This story covers the travails of Captain America as, believing himself to be responsible for the death of President Roosevelt, he flees into the wilderness, abandoning the title of Captain America to rival Bucky Barnes. Now, with the help of the wise-cracking Tony Stark, the gluttonous barbarian Thor, and childhood friend and lost love Sharon Carter he has to go win back his title with a full-fledged battle in the heart of Washington DC!
The Duck: This series stars conflicted, tormented scientist Bruce Banner, who, due to a carelessly tested science experiment hides a terrible secret. When he gets angry, he turns into Donald Duck!. Hilarity ensues. Oh, you know it will. Don't look at us like that. Buy our comics! Please?
(Apologies to any offended comic fans. No, wait, on second thought, no apologies. Never apologize. Retcon it out of existence, but never apologize.).