No Longer a Terrorist

[danalwyn]

I'm sure most of you already know this, but some of you might be interested to know that, after extensive review, the United States of America has reconsidered its previous position and, as of today, removed Nelson Mandela from the terror watch list, declaring unilaterally that he is no longer a terrorist.

That's right. Nelson Mandela is no longer a terrorist, and thus he is no longer eligible for membership in the Contradiction Club, whose strict rules require you to be both a terrorist, and to possess a Nobel Peace Prize. Information obtained secretly from the Contradiction Club indicates that, without Mr. Mandela's patronage, the club may have to close their doors.

So, to repeat, we are no longer at war with Nelson Mandela. We are, however, still at war with Fidel Castro, and probably Josef Stalin. You may feel free to kneecap either of those people should you see them in airports.

(Rumors that Osama Bin Laden is on the terror watch list remain unconfirmed at this time)

Comments

[shonagonchan.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Bin Ladn, did you ever see Benazir Butto's last interivew? And if so what did you think?

[danalwyn.livejournal.com]

I did take a look, but it's a theory I've heard presented before, and I've never seen much evidence to back it up. You won't either, because Bin Laden is by now so irrelevant to the global al Qaeda movement that nobody really cares whether he's alive or not.

I hope he is alive, because at this point the only possible harm he could do is if he were dead, but who knows? Whatever it is, he isn't doing much.