Amazon Loves Us Too

[danalwyn]

There are some good things about Amazon. One of them is the reviews. Especially the reviews that are clearly there for comedic effect. Over the years Amazon has created quite a list of things they offer for sale that have been reviewed by far more people than have probably actually bought the product, which is why you get ridiculous products with thousands of reviews.

But don't take my word for it. Have a look at a handful of the most enthusiastically reviewed products on Amazon:



The classic example may be John W. Trimmer's classic book How to Avoid Huge Ships:

Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.

Then there's the Hutzler-571 Banana slicer

I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices is curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.

The UFO-02 UFO Detector

I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis.

The classic work of literature The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China:

I'm not sure what all these rave reviews are about. I was just as excited as the next man to order this highly anticipated follow-up to "The 2002-2009 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China" but it left me flat.

It felt forced and unneeded. I think the author just wanted another pay day without having to come up with something original.

This $40,000 Samsung 85-inch television

My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It's missing the remote, but oh well-- for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I've never seen the world with such clarity.

Amanda, if you're reading this, hang in there, honey! We'll see you in a year.

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The unwieldy RAND Corporation report A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates

Such a terrific reference work! But with so many terrific random digits, it's a shame they didn't sort them, to make it easier to find the one you're looking for.

This $1400 Wenger Swiss Army Knife

Found this...stuck into a stone while on vacation. I'm impressed with it, generally. Unfortunately, it turns out that removing it made me the new king of Switzerland, which is a lot of responsibility.

Some Fresh Whole Rabbit

PICTURE OMITTED

I bought two, left them alone in the refrigerator for a week, and now I have thirty-eight.

And the classic Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt

I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie.

So what interesting products have you found?

Comments

[quicksilver_ink]

It's actually a reasonable product, but the top review on this replacement carafe for a coffeemaker amuses me.

And I'm sure you've heard of the BIC pens 'for her' debacle.

[danalwyn]

I'd forgotten about the pens for her. Those are some quality reviews right there.

P.S. I raise you by the most terrifying product idea I've seen in some time