In Lieu Of Productive Work: The News
Apr. 27th, 2012 11:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
danalwynI should be doing a million things right now, but I can't seem to work on any of them. So, in lieu of all that, here's the roundup of everything that's gone wrong in the world while Sarkozy is busy pounding his chest and talking about intervention in Syria.
The Sudans
It's been less than a year since we've had to start calling them "The Sudans" instead of "Sudan", but it looks like Sudan, one of Africa's perenniel trouble children, is now on the verge of war with its breakaway sibling of South Sudan (name pending). In the ten or so months since separation the two nations have kept busy, Sudan by continuing to exterminate people in Darfur, and South Sudan continuing with infighting between its various warlords, and embarking on a plan to rebuild the region's major cities to look like animals.
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Your aid dollars at work: Urban Planning version
Unfortunately, it looks like despite the diversion of their effort to fratricide and other internal conflicts, the two former roommates simply can't get along. For the past week the rhetoric between the two countries has gotten increasingly heated, although not as heated as the bombs that they're now dropping on each other. But the words aren't anything to sneeze at, especially given the words of Sudanese President al-Bashir:
You may wonder why the two countries aren't at war already, but you see, war isn't something you do in these civilized times. This isn't a war. It's a "liberation", just like the US "liberated" Iraq, or Russia "liberated" northern Georgia. That's just how things go.
Nobody expects the fighting to decide anything, unless the SPLM gets as stupid as the LTTE did. It just seems another round in the intermitable Sudanese Civil War, which never really ended. Even if it did result in one or the other of the countries falling apart, the state of the land would remain the same. This can be seen in the complete lack of enthuisasm of any of the surrounding nations to pick sides.
A Sudanese victory will, on the other hand, destroy the chance of having a national capital shaped like a Rhino, so depending on your sense of aesthetics this might be enough to move you off the fence - one way or another.
Liberia
So a long time ago there was a guy named Charles Taylor who was a rebel in Liberia. He wasn't much of a rebel, but Liberia at the time didn't have much of a government, and what government it did have was famous for being both insane and incompetent. The leader, Samuel Doe, was eventually chased down and killed by rebel Prince Johnson, who sat around having a Bud while Doe's ear was sawed off (on international television no less), which basically disqualified him from aid dollars, leaving fellow rebel Taylor as the only possible choice for President of Liberia (incidentally giving Liberia the distinction, as far as I know, of having the only national leader at the time who had escaped from jail in the United States).
Taylor was known for the brutality of his forces, and for their, um...rather small stature.
This soldier may be old enough to be a veteran [The Economist]
As President, he didn't improve his reputation - not having a civil war of his own, he immediately began to mess around with the one in neighboring Sierra Leone. In fact, it wasn't long before he seemed to have his fingers in every pie in the region in pursuit of blood diamonds, and those pies were sticking their fingers back in inciting yet another phase of the Liberian Civil War. Even after Liberia eventually got rid of him (partially for harboring al-Qaeda operatives), Taylor continued to stick his nose where it quite clearly did not belong. Eventually the rest of the world got so sick of him that they actually managed to get the Nigerians to extradite him and ship him off to the ICC who, wonder of wonders, managed to convict him.
So it seems that if you do embezzle millions of dollars, kill tens of thousands of people, recruit child soldiers, loot entire cities, start wars, blow up civilian targets, and brutally repress dissent, eventually you will find yourself in a neatly pressed suit in a comfortable chair in the Hague facing a judge who will convict you and sentence you to some number of years in a comfortable prison in Europe as long as the glove fits and they don't have to throw the whole thing out on a technicality.
Charles Taylor comes face-to-face with the magnitude of his crimes. Or possibly dozes off. It's hard to tell. [The Economist]
Mali
The Tuareg rebels who seized the northern part of the country have declared the independence of their new state of Azawad to widespread apathy on behalf of the international community. Azawad faces a lot of challenges. For one thing, it is located in the middle of nowhere:
Shaded: The Middle of Nowhere [Wikipedia]
For another thing, Azawad is home to a bunch of people who aren't Tuareg and who are about as happy at the prospect of living in a state run by Tuareg as the Tuareg were at living in a state run by someone else.
For another thing, there are a lot of groups with a lot of guns in Azawad who are not exactly on speaking terms with the Azawad "government", and it's quite possible that the largest armed group in the proto-state (probably Ansar Dine) may be in opposition to its new leaders. Such as they are. At the moment, things may be quiet. Don't expect that to last.
Still, the Tuareg rebels seem to be in control, despite the attempts of 200 government troops to attempt to return to the north. The new government in Bamako seems unlikely to have the military capabilities necessary to tie their shoes, let alone take care of the fractious north. ECOWAS says it may contribute up to 3000 troops to battle the Tuareg, once they finish up the spring cleaning and fixing that window in the attic and all that other stuff that countries suddenly have to do when it comes time to fulfill their commitments. That leaves the Tuareg separatists in control of a huge area filled with nothing, in a proto-country that is so poor that the scholars at Oxford are probably going to have to invent a new word for it on the Wealthy-Developing-Poor-Very Poor-Poorest-Very Poorest scale.
Another industry that may be worth more than the entire GDP of Azawad [girlscouts.org]
Guinea-Bissau
So, in case you didn't hear, there was a coup in Guinea-Bissau a while ago. Nobody cared much at the time, because Guinea-Bissau is one of the world's most spectacularly failed narco-states, and the question of who is in charge is more or less academic. Nevertheless, the situation bares note, as one group of corrupt officials takes over from another group of corrupt officials.
The AU doesn't like this, and neither does ECOWAS. There's now an offer to send several hundred troops to Guinea-Bissau. As soon as they find some troops to send. I mean, they'll have to ask around for that and all. And also find some money to pay them with.
Oh the hell with it. It's only Guinea-Bissau. We could never find that country on the map anyway (hint: it borders Guinea).
The Sudans
It's been less than a year since we've had to start calling them "The Sudans" instead of "Sudan", but it looks like Sudan, one of Africa's perenniel trouble children, is now on the verge of war with its breakaway sibling of South Sudan (name pending). In the ten or so months since separation the two nations have kept busy, Sudan by continuing to exterminate people in Darfur, and South Sudan continuing with infighting between its various warlords, and embarking on a plan to rebuild the region's major cities to look like animals.
Your aid dollars at work: Urban Planning version
Unfortunately, it looks like despite the diversion of their effort to fratricide and other internal conflicts, the two former roommates simply can't get along. For the past week the rhetoric between the two countries has gotten increasingly heated, although not as heated as the bombs that they're now dropping on each other. But the words aren't anything to sneeze at, especially given the words of Sudanese President al-Bashir:
“We have promised the south’s people to free them from the SPLM rule immediately and we bear a responsibility before the south’s citizens after we contributed to establishing the SPLM rule in the South”
You may wonder why the two countries aren't at war already, but you see, war isn't something you do in these civilized times. This isn't a war. It's a "liberation", just like the US "liberated" Iraq, or Russia "liberated" northern Georgia. That's just how things go.
Nobody expects the fighting to decide anything, unless the SPLM gets as stupid as the LTTE did. It just seems another round in the intermitable Sudanese Civil War, which never really ended. Even if it did result in one or the other of the countries falling apart, the state of the land would remain the same. This can be seen in the complete lack of enthuisasm of any of the surrounding nations to pick sides.
A Sudanese victory will, on the other hand, destroy the chance of having a national capital shaped like a Rhino, so depending on your sense of aesthetics this might be enough to move you off the fence - one way or another.
Liberia
So a long time ago there was a guy named Charles Taylor who was a rebel in Liberia. He wasn't much of a rebel, but Liberia at the time didn't have much of a government, and what government it did have was famous for being both insane and incompetent. The leader, Samuel Doe, was eventually chased down and killed by rebel Prince Johnson, who sat around having a Bud while Doe's ear was sawed off (on international television no less), which basically disqualified him from aid dollars, leaving fellow rebel Taylor as the only possible choice for President of Liberia (incidentally giving Liberia the distinction, as far as I know, of having the only national leader at the time who had escaped from jail in the United States).
Taylor was known for the brutality of his forces, and for their, um...rather small stature.
This soldier may be old enough to be a veteran [The Economist]
As President, he didn't improve his reputation - not having a civil war of his own, he immediately began to mess around with the one in neighboring Sierra Leone. In fact, it wasn't long before he seemed to have his fingers in every pie in the region in pursuit of blood diamonds, and those pies were sticking their fingers back in inciting yet another phase of the Liberian Civil War. Even after Liberia eventually got rid of him (partially for harboring al-Qaeda operatives), Taylor continued to stick his nose where it quite clearly did not belong. Eventually the rest of the world got so sick of him that they actually managed to get the Nigerians to extradite him and ship him off to the ICC who, wonder of wonders, managed to convict him.
So it seems that if you do embezzle millions of dollars, kill tens of thousands of people, recruit child soldiers, loot entire cities, start wars, blow up civilian targets, and brutally repress dissent, eventually you will find yourself in a neatly pressed suit in a comfortable chair in the Hague facing a judge who will convict you and sentence you to some number of years in a comfortable prison in Europe as long as the glove fits and they don't have to throw the whole thing out on a technicality.
Charles Taylor comes face-to-face with the magnitude of his crimes. Or possibly dozes off. It's hard to tell. [The Economist]
Mali
The Tuareg rebels who seized the northern part of the country have declared the independence of their new state of Azawad to widespread apathy on behalf of the international community. Azawad faces a lot of challenges. For one thing, it is located in the middle of nowhere:
Shaded: The Middle of Nowhere [Wikipedia]
For another thing, Azawad is home to a bunch of people who aren't Tuareg and who are about as happy at the prospect of living in a state run by Tuareg as the Tuareg were at living in a state run by someone else.
For another thing, there are a lot of groups with a lot of guns in Azawad who are not exactly on speaking terms with the Azawad "government", and it's quite possible that the largest armed group in the proto-state (probably Ansar Dine) may be in opposition to its new leaders. Such as they are. At the moment, things may be quiet. Don't expect that to last.
Still, the Tuareg rebels seem to be in control, despite the attempts of 200 government troops to attempt to return to the north. The new government in Bamako seems unlikely to have the military capabilities necessary to tie their shoes, let alone take care of the fractious north. ECOWAS says it may contribute up to 3000 troops to battle the Tuareg, once they finish up the spring cleaning and fixing that window in the attic and all that other stuff that countries suddenly have to do when it comes time to fulfill their commitments. That leaves the Tuareg separatists in control of a huge area filled with nothing, in a proto-country that is so poor that the scholars at Oxford are probably going to have to invent a new word for it on the Wealthy-Developing-Poor-Very Poor-Poorest-Very Poorest scale.
Another industry that may be worth more than the entire GDP of Azawad [girlscouts.org]
Guinea-Bissau
So, in case you didn't hear, there was a coup in Guinea-Bissau a while ago. Nobody cared much at the time, because Guinea-Bissau is one of the world's most spectacularly failed narco-states, and the question of who is in charge is more or less academic. Nevertheless, the situation bares note, as one group of corrupt officials takes over from another group of corrupt officials.
The AU doesn't like this, and neither does ECOWAS. There's now an offer to send several hundred troops to Guinea-Bissau. As soon as they find some troops to send. I mean, they'll have to ask around for that and all. And also find some money to pay them with.
Oh the hell with it. It's only Guinea-Bissau. We could never find that country on the map anyway (hint: it borders Guinea).