Since Everybody's Reading HBP Today...

...I thought it might be a good day to post something I worked on last night. I'm trying to get a feel for writing a particular character, and I don't think it's going particularly well. I want the reader to to get a fairly specific picture of him, but I'm not sure if I can handle it without telling them outright what they should be seeing.

Warning: This is not a nice story. It's definitely NWS, although mentions of sex are minimal. It's also possibly not for the squeamish.

Questions follow the story:


P.S. LJ's HTML ate my indentations, and I'm not quite sure how to get them back.

P.P.S. This story is almost completely unedited. It's choppy as hell. I'm aware of that, but I'd like to get a better handle on some things before I try making something more out of it. It doesn't help that the whole thing was never meant to be seen by the public. In other words, yes, I know it needs work.

( Not Pleasant Things behind cut )